TPDL - Introduction

My wife and I have just completed The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. I am planning to use this website to post my daily reflections from the experience that we are going through. Please realize that I am expressing what God is saying to me about my life. Hopefully, there will be something that you can take away from the lessons that I am learning. However, this should not be taken as a road map for your personal journey.

My goal of this journal is for you to be able to use something that God is telling me about my life. It is not to promote The Purpose Driven Life book. God is the only one who can reveal his purpose for your life. This book should only be used as a tool to help with the revelations. For more information please see my commentary on the book as a whole at www.geocities.com/reachoutmissions.

Come share in the journey.

TPDL Day #1 - What on Earth am I Here For?

We need to get out of the thinking of American culture, which tells us that if we search deep enough in ourselves we can find the answers to all of our struggles. Their answer is to set goals and take the necessary steps to achieve them.

The problem with our culture’s mentality is illustrated in the first sentence of this lesson, “It’s not about us.”

We need to take the "I" out of our search for meaning. “What do I want?” “What are my goals?” “What can I do to achieve my goals?”

When I started my career at age 21, I set goals to reach by the time that I was 30. I had to then re-evaluate these goals when I was 27 because I had well exceeded the originals. I was doing what the secular world was teaching and had become successful by its standards. However, I did not really have a true purpose in mind other than achieving the goals set before me. I believe now that even with my sights not set on the Lord, God's grace allowed for me to exceed the goals that I had created. I also believe that he allowed for the loss of my recent job to occur so that I would feel the longing for something more.

We should not just speculate on what is the purpose of our life. We need to turn to ask our creator, “What is our purpose?” Only then can we receive the revelation from God on what is His purpose.

When you have a friend, how do you know what is going on in each other’s lives? You have to communicate! The only way you are going to learn God's purpose in your life is to talk with him and focus on what He has to say. In order to remind myself that life is really about living for God, not myself, I will need to talk with Him and focus on His scriptures daily. I also need to ask the questions of Him, “What is my purpose?” and “Am I following your path?”

Shortly after losing my job I realized that I could not just ask the question of myself, “What do I want out of my career now?” I had to ask God, “What is it that you want for my career now?”

God had a plan in loss of my job. Since God has the plan, there is no point in asking anyone other than him, “Why?” Before I can find another job, I need to know God’s purpose for my life.

I also need to focus my prayers on what the purpose is for my family and not just myself.

TPDL Day #2 - You Are Not an Accident

I am not an accident. I am alive because God wanted to create me. For this reason, he has a plan (purpose) for my life. Included in this plan, God has provided the means of fulfillment. There are so many times in our lives when we know the destination but not the route to take. Why do you think map web sites generate some of the most traffic on the Internet? We may not always be privy to God’s map for our life, but he does have one.

Nothing in your life is arbitrary. I do not believe that anything happens out of coincidence. If you choose not to remove obstacles that block you from being open to God's purpose, He will remove them! There are too many things that have happened in my life recently to say that they just arbitrarily happened. These events are all a part of getting me ready to receive the blessing that God has in store for my life.

Knowing that God uniquely created me, what areas of my personality, background, and physical appearance am I struggling to accept? I am struggling with the fact that I am a Christian that has not always lived a life for Christ. I have not been focused on doing what would glorify the Lord. I need to get my walk with the Lord right and change my focus away from "me" before I can ask for the acceptance of others and take a leadership role in their lives.

TPDL Day #3 - What Drives Your Life?

2 Timothy 1:7 – God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

God’s purpose is what should drive our lives. For too long, the need for success, wealth (possessions) and pleasure drove the decisions in my life. I now realize they cannot compensate for not knowing God’s purpose in my life.

I find this lesson filled with both hope and warnings. Hope that if I allow God’s purpose to drive my life it will have meaning, be simplified, have focus, provide motivation and prepare me for eternity. Warnings of the impossibility of trying to do everything that people want from you. Warnings of not understanding what God wants, therefore not being able to focus.

It excites me to realize the impact that God could make through my life with a focused purpose. The purpose will give me the passion and determination to complete the job. It is not about the recognition.

What did you do with my Son, Jesus Christ? I have accepted him as my Lord and Savior.

What did you do with what I gave you? I have only recently begun to understanding the responsibility we have as Christians. We are here to fulfill God's purpose on Earth, not the other way around.

This lesson spoke to me about the power of focusing on God’s purpose for our life. It does not end there, once our purpose has been understood we must act on it. We must then not linger on the purpose. We must change our focus to accomplishing God’s purpose for our life.

For too long I have allowed the wrong factors drive my decisions in life. I am making a stand today to focus on the drive for God’s purpose in my life. All of my decisions will be made through the filter of God’s purpose in my life.

TPDL Day #4 - Made to Last Forever

Paul said, "I once thought all of these things were so important, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done."

Paul is expressing exactly how I feel now. I expressed this in the last lesson. What I thought was important is not, because of what I now know.

This life is a dress rehearsal for our eternal life. We all need to realize that our time on earth is short. The things of this world like people's opinions, success, and wealth will soon go away. When we understand this, we start to see and do things differently. Certain things lose their importance. While, others become more urgent. Our time becomes more valuable. Money seems to no longer have precedence over relationships. We begin to view the bigger picture of the world and not just our little spot.

I have often thought about if we are wrong and there is nothing after death. "What if we have it all wrong?" Based on what God is doing in my life, I do not believe that we are. But, "What if?" Recently, I was driving down the road thinking about this topic. I twisted the question around, "If we are wrong would it change anything that I am doing with my life?" My answer was, "No!" But the fact that there is a God and there is eternity in heaven for believing in Jesus makes what we do on earth that much more rewarding.

TPDL Day #5 - Seeing Life from God's View

I would say that up till now my life metaphor would be a magic show. I see God’s guidance, blessing and positioning in my life but don’t really know why or how it is done.

Life is a test all of the time. Also, the tests are not always big ones. I need to think about the small things in my life also. Small problems can lead to big failures.

God does not give us these tests so that we will fail. We are given these tests so that we can learn. When we were in school, the teachers did not come in on the first day of class and drop the final exam on you. They waited until they had covered the material and you had taken small exams to get you ready for the "big daddy." God's tests in our lives are very similar. Sometimes we feel as if God has dropped the final exam on us the first day. However, if we look back and examine the situation, there were many learning opportunities and small test and we chose to skip class those days.

I know that God is in strong fellowship with me now. I need to focus and get things right now. I don’t need to wait until God pulls away to get my heart right. I can look at the loss of job as a test. I have stated before that my barrier to following through with keeping my mind open to missions and God’s will in my life was my job. I could have just been saying that to get the pressure off of myself. However, I have used my job loss to really explore God’s will in my life.

Life is a trust. What do we have that God hasn’t given to us? And if all you have is from God, Why boast as though you have accomplished something on your own?

I have really had my eyes opened on this topic. There was a time 'not so long ago' that I had a hard time acknowledging God’s hand in my work accomplishments (really any of my accomplishments). My wife one day said, "Isn't it great what God has allowed you to do there." This comment really upset me at the time. "I was the one who was out of town all week." "I was the one who was putting in the hours and had the knowledge to get the job done." I was allowing my pride stand in the way of my understanding that I do nothing without God. When I teach the youth on Sunday mornings it is God speaking through me, not that "I" have something great to say. Anything I accomplish at work is because God has placed me in a position to be successful.

I want God to say to me, "Well done, good and faithful servant!" I will acknowledge daily that I go nowhere that God has not place me. I will ask the question, "Am I spending my time, money and talents toward God first?" If I am not, how can I expect to be a good and faithful servant?

TPDL Day #6 - Life is a Temporary Assignment

The analogy of an ambassador in this lesson was very powerful for me. I continually have struggles with the whole “Be in the world, but not of the world” thing. This has been a real roadblock in my growth as a Christian.

Here is an example from my life of a struggle being an ambassador. As a teenager, I always loved listening to all types of music. However, one type of music that I just did not seem to care for was the Contemporary Christian music of the 80’s. It just seemed too blah. I opted for the sound and lyrics of the Alternative music scene.

It was a long time before I realized how perverse some of the lyrics in the songs were. How did I think it was okay to listen to some of this?

About my junior or senior year in college, I started analyzing the lyrics of the songs I listened to. I tried to find ways to turn the meanings around from what the artists originally intended and come up with a Christian lesson from the songs. I wanted to know and listen to the music that my friends and I liked, but I wanted to be able to enjoy it in a different light.

Where are areas of your life you are being a traitor to the Lord? Are you too caught up in your job, money/possessions, friends, family, or just ‘your’ aspirations?

Take the time to pray today that the Lord would open your eyes to the areas were you are being a traitor to Him. Pray that you would be able to see your life here on the earth as a temporary assignment. Pray that you would be able to go through your daily walk as an ambassador.

TPDL Day #7 - The Reason for Everything

Everything created by God reflects His glory in some way. There are only two of God's creations that continually fail to bring him glory. Fallen angels and people. If you choose to rebel against God and continue to do things your own way, you are saying that you are in control and your way is better than His.

I would like to focus on the word "reflect" today. The definition of reflect is, "to give back or show an image of."

As humans, the work of our daily life is naturally 'bent' towards ourselves. (The best way that I know to describe a natural 'bent' is, no matter how you position a flower it will always grow toward the light.) When we are born the doctor should smack a label on our hiney that says, "Naturally Selfish." We work hard at our jobs to get more money, a promotion, or recognition. We keep our house, clothes, and car clean and updated (always looking for new and better possessions) for personal satisfaction or acceptance.

We focus our lives on what reflects on us. Our job, relationships, possessions, children, and activities reflect to others who we are. We do not always realize the reflection that we are actually giving off is not the one we intend. When we allow the focus of our lives to be on our natural 'bent' (self), How can we reflect the glory of God?

TPDL Day #8 - Planned for God's Pleasure

By constantly thinking about Jesus, we can feel closer to Him. Think about the way you were when you first fell in love. This is how you can tap into true worship.

“Love Song For A Savior” by Jars of Clay

In open fields of wild flowers,
she breathes the air and flies away
She thanks her Jesus for the daises and the roses
in no simple language
Someday she'll understand the meaning of it all
He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens
As close a heartbeat or a song on her lips
Someday she'll trust Him and learn how to see Him
Someday He'll call her and she will come running
and fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and she'll pray,

"I want to fall in love with You"

Sitting silent wearing Sunday best
The sermon echoes through the walls
A great salvation through it calls to the people
who stare into nowhere, and can't feel the chains on their souls
He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens
As close a heartbeat or a song on our lips
Someday we'll trust Him and learn how to see Him
Someday He'll call us and we will come running
and fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and we'll pray,

"I want to fall in love with You"

It seems too easy to call you "Savior",
Not close enough to call you "God"
So as I sit and think of words I can mention
to show my devotion

"I want to fall in love with You"

"my heart beats for You"

-Lyrics for Love Song For A Savior are property and copyright of Jars of Clay and their respective authors. Lyrics are provided for educational purposes only.

TPDL Day #9 - What Makes God Smile?

Our first purpose in life is to please God. How much pleasure is God getting out of my life? The best way for me to understand this lesson is to think about my own children. When do they please me? I am pleased when my children are trusting, loving, thankful, obedient, amiable, and gracious.

I am pleased when my children trust that I know what is best and that I will be here to take care of them. The other night my daughter came down to my room because she was having a nightmare. I let her lay in the bed next to me and I assured her that I would not let anything get her. After about five minutes, she was asleep and I did not here another peep out of her until the morning.

I am pleased when my children are loving. I find great enjoyment when I come home from work and my children will drop whatever they are doing and come running to the door with hugs and kisses. They missed me while I was away and want to spend time with me.

I am pleased when my children are thankful and gracious for what they have been given. When you do something for someone else, there is nothing worse than to feel unappreciated. However, when you are thanked, appreciated and shown gratitude it is a tremendous sensation.

When my children are obedient I am pleased. I find great pleasure it the few times that my children actually do what I ask the first time without complaining or making excuses.

I find pleasure and contentment when my children play amiably. In order to get along and play amiably with other people, we sometimes have to put their feelings first. It cannot always be about what you want to do and when you want to do it.

Try to look to the parallels of what others do to please you. When you realize the things that allow you to have pleasure, you can then understand the types of things that bring pleasure to God.

TPDL Day #10 - The Heart of Worship

The heart of worship is surrender. Surrender is a hard concept to wrap our arms around. We are taught and believe that surrender means to lose or give up. Our culture reinforces in us the concept that losing is not an option. No one wants to be a loser. We try to teach our children that everyone is a winner. Never give up or quit until you have accomplished your goal.

The Webster dictionary meaning of surrender is "to yield to the power, control, or possession of another upon compulsion or demand."

I would recommend that you see Mel Gibson’s movie, "The Passion of The Christ." This movie exemplifies the heart of surrender. Throughout all of the brutality of the movie, Jesus never raised his voice or hand in retaliation. I did not hear anyone in the audience yell out, "Fight back, you coward." Yet, how many times do we hear a story or see someone taking a beating, and think or say why do they not fight back (stand up for themselves).

Jesus got it! Dying on the cross was not what Jesus wanted to do. Look at his struggles in the garden. However, he trusted that God had a plan and purpose for this and he surrendered to God’s power and control.

We must surrender (yield to His power) our possessions, decisions, goals, and lives to God. We must realize that God can handle them better than we can. Realizing this truth is not enough. We have to let Him handle it by turning it over (surrendering) to him.

We need to allow God into the kitchen to prepare the meal of our life. We cannot be looking over his shoulder and commenting on the fact that he is not following our recipe while preparing the meal. We must give him free reign of the kitchen and just come to the table ready to eat.

If you yield to God’s power and control daily, I promise that you will be amazed at what He cooks up.

TPDL Day #11 - Becoming Best Friends with God

Do you know anyone who talks just to hear his or her own voice? They tend to ramble on about topics that are not really relevant. They seem to be all over the map when they speak.
Have you ever been in a one-sided conversation with someone? They are very overbearing. They will not let anyone get involved in the conversation. They cut others off in mid-sentence. They do not listen while others are talking. While their mouth is closed they are just thinking about the next thing they are going to say.

Would you consider this communication? I would answer this question, "No."

However, this is the way many of us conduct our prayer life or our communication with God.

We are able to talk to God through prayer. Yet often times, we can go days without speaking to Him. Our prayers are continually focused on ourselves. We rarely ask what it is that He wants or needs.

He is able to speak to use through His word. However, most of us have not read the whole Bible and do not spend time studying what it says.

Nike has the slogan, "Just Do It." But in order to "Just Do It," you have to "START." If you do not have consistent, open communication with God, START. If you currently do not read and study your Bible on a consistent basis, START.

TPDL Day #12 - Developing Your Friendship with God

We as humans place possessions, aspirations, relationships, and comfort as valuable in our lives. God, of course, knows this. As our friend he allows for many of the valuables in our lives to flourish. He allows us to attain many of the goals that we set before us in our lives.

Many times we believe that God brings good things in our lives so that we can give him glory. This is true, God does provide for some of our wants so that we will glorify Him. However, He also provides because He desires our friendship. As friends we care about what our friends care about. Things that are important in our friend’s life are important in our lives. Why should this be any different in our relationship with the Lord?

Just as God cares about what we value, we should care about what God values. As Christians we must value what God values, His people. When I state, “His people,” I do not mean only other Christians. God did not send his son, Jesus, to die on the cross just for Christians. God wants all of His people found. As a true friend we must want those around us to be found.

My wife and I were just discussing the other day how many of our neighbors and friends do not regularly attend church. I do not know where all of my neighbors and friends are in their walk with the Lord. This is something that until this lesson was honestly not high on my list of important tasks. I know that I need to make it perfectly clear to my neighbors, friends and family where the Lord stands in my life. I am also praying and hoping for opportunities to help God in the world around me to find some of His people that are lost.

TPDL Day #13 - Worship That Pleases God

Revelations 3:15-16 – I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are you are lukewarm-neither hot nor cold-I am about to spit you out of my mouth.

There is nothing better on a hot summer day than a cold drink or on a cold winter day than a hot cup of something. Have you ever gone to take a sip of a drink that you expected to be cold or hot and found it to be warm. That is a horrible feeling. Just like the scripture says, you want to spit it out of your mouth.

I feel that our worship of the Lord falls into this category sometimes. Many times we find ourselves just going through the motions of worship. We just half-heartedly sing the hymns. We just bow our heads during the prayer. We close our eyes during the sermon. This is not the type of worship that God desires or deserves.

We as Christians have some great clichés. “Praise the Lord” and “I’ll pray for you” are a few of our classic clichés. But, is there any real meaning behind what we say or are we just saying to because we cannot think of anything else to say at the time.

We are going through the process of trying to teach our children how to pray. This has really made me focus on how I pray. I came to the realization that when I pray at a meal I pray the same prayer at each meal. I had never noticed that the prayer had just become a habit. By becoming a habit, the prayer had lost much of its impact because I was not praying with any meaning. My prayer was, “Dear Lord, bless this food which you have placed here before us. Thank you for the means, which you have placed it here before us. Bless this food to our bodies and our bodies to your service, Amen.” This is not a bad prayer. However, it means nothing if it said out of habit. I since have been making an effort to break the habit and to just talk to God before the meal and just let him know that I am appreciative of what he has given to me.

TPDL Day #14 - When God Seems Distant

There are a few things that create a feeling of distance in our lives with God. One is when God tests us with periods of seeming separation. Times when He seems a million miles away and He has abandon or forgotten us. These feelings are normal. Some of the people in the Bible with the closest relationships with God had the same feelings.

Joshua 1:9 – I command you – be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

God does not come and go depending on his moods or circumstances. The Lord promises that he will always be there. It is in these times of seeming separation that we must continue to love, trust, obey, and worship God.

Another thing that creates the feeling of distance in our lives with God is sin. We all have sin in our lives. Sin keeps us from intimacy with God. Therefore, we have a sense of distance in our relationship. This distance sounds very easy to solve. We have to deal with our sin, not just confess it. This is not easy though.

I can equate dealing with sin like dealing with an addiction. The first step in dealing with any addiction is admitting you have an addiction. The first step with dealing with sin is to admit that you have sinned. This is where many of us stop. However like any addiction, sin is deeply rooted in our lives. The sin will push, pull, and run to stay away from God’s healing hand.

Is there something in your life that needs to be dealt with? I urge you to seek Godly Council in helping to bridge the distance between you and God caused by sin.

TPDL Day #15 - Formed for God's Family

I was just reading today in the Christian Index an article about baptisms. The Georgia Baptist Convention has set a goal to conduct 50,000 baptisms in 2005. This goal would be an increase of 15,518 from the number of baptisms reported in 2002.

There are many Baptist leaders who are praying for a statewide and national revival in 2005. “There is a consensus among pastors that complacency dominates the atmosphere on most churches. The need for revival has never been greater, and God may be ready to work a miracle among His people in Georgia,” Steve Hale, president of the Conference of Georgia Baptist Evangelists or COGBE, stated in a recent interview.

The article states that revival is all about bringing people back to their first love. Revival is for the church, not for unbelievers. Once believers are revived they naturally begin sharing their faith and the harvest begins.

There has been a national calming of the passion for revival in the past decades. Many churches are preoccupied with the ‘good things’ that evangelism falls between the cracks. However, there is a firm belief that we could experience the greatest awakening in Georgia’s history if we were to get serious with God in the coming months.

Do you need to have revival in your life?

TPDL Day #16 - What Matters Most

Matthew 22:34-40 - Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

The most important thing that we do with our lives is to love. Some of the biggest “reality TV” shows today are focused on finding LOVE (except they use the word connection because they cannot use the word love). However, most of the people on these shows are missing the point because they cannot get the focus off themselves. You have to look for ways to love others and not focus on finding someone to love us.

God also looks to how we love to measure what our lives can handle. What is the point of giving to someone how does not use what they have been blessed with? As a teacher of our youth department, I have learned to give through teaching and by giving I am taught and blessed in return.

This is also one of the reasons for creating this web site. In order to grow and continue to be blessed, I need to share what I have learned. I can only hope that the Lord blesses you in some way by what I write.

TPDL Day #17 - A Place to Belong

You have to belong, not just believe.

The Webster dictionary definition of ‘belong’ is to be an attribute, part, adjunct, or function of a person or thing.

John 15:4-6 - Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.”

Attending a local church is not enough. We are called by John 15 to belong. The branch cannot bear fruit if it does not belong to the vine. How can we expect to bear God’s fruit if we are not a part of where God is working?

When we had our second child, it no longer made since for my wife to work outside of the home. We decided that she needed to stay home with the children. This meant that I would need to bring home more money. In order to do this I took a job that required me to travel Monday through Friday every week. By freeing up her time, my wife was able to serve others in a volunteer capacity.

When I came home on Friday the last thing I wanted to do was commit more of my time to something that would take me away from my family. During this four-year period I saw my activity at church diminish. I did help my wife teach 3 & 4 year old Sunday School, but that was about it. I could not commit myself to things because I was always out of town.

I realized one day that although I was being sacrificial by allowing my wife to stay at home and serve others in the community. It was not enough. I needed to realign my priorities. I needed to rejoin the vine.

God has given me skills and experiences. It was time to stop using them only for my own benefit.

TPDL Day #18 - Experiencing Life Together

One of the things to look for in real fellowship is sympathy. Sympathy meets two of the fundamental needs of humans: the need to be understood and the need to have your feeling validated. The lesson today mentioned the idea of building fellowship through understanding and affirming someone’s feelings.

Many of us get confused with the idea of sympathy. We spend too much time trying to fix symptoms instead of understanding the root cause of the problems. Giving money to the man standing on the street corner with a sign stating, “Will Work for Food,” is not sympathy. It only helps us to feel that we did something to help someone. The problem is that the person did not end up on the street corner by making good decisions. Do we expect him to make a good decision with the money? We could buy him some food. This would at least help one of his problems. He is asking for food, right?

We get so caught up in fixing that we do not take the time to sympathize. What is the person really asking for? The first thing to do is look at his sign. He is either asking for Food or Work. However, we would probably need to stop, get out of our cars, and talk with him to find out what he needs.

Most of the time we are too busy and preoccupied with our own troubles to do anything. I will be first to jump in line to admit that I am guilty of this. We are too caught up in trying to get where we are going, too worried about our safety, or too calloused to care.

When we are absorbed in ourselves we have no room for sympathy. In sympathy we learn and feel what others are feeling. Only through their eyes can we understand and know how to help.

The next time someone around you is in need take the time to ‘hear’ (not just listen) his or her situation and try to understand.

TPDL Day #19 - Cultivating Community

Have you ever heard anyone say, “I just don’t like people?” The reason why they might say this is because relationships are hard. They are especially hard with people who are irritating. We have a tendency to build ‘surface’ relationships. We do this because we do not what anyone into our lives. If someone really knows you then they can really hurt you. As long as we keep our relationships at the ‘surface’ level we cannot get hurt. This is not the type of relationships that we are to build.

When an acorn falls from a tree, it has built a ‘surface’ relationship with the ground. However, the acorn must begin to dig into the ground for the relationship to be anything more. The ground and that acorn are not the same. They both bring different cards to the table. The acorn brings potential and meaning to the ground. The ground brings nourishment and stability to the acorn.

Only together through a cultivated fellowship can the ground and the acorn stand as a 100 year-old oak tree.

Are you cultivating the relationships that God has placed in your life? Are you working on the area of honesty, humility, courtesy, confidentiality, and frequency to grow the godly fellowship of your relationships?

TPDL Day #20 - Restoring Broken Fellowship

This was a really hard lesson for me. It was hard because it is a wound that was recently inflicted. In October of 2003, I was let go from my job. I had been working for a long time family friend, which made the termination difficult on both sides. Because of my position in the company I was privy to the financial status of the company. 2003 was a difficult year for the business and the beginning of 2004 was not looking to be any better. I was one of the highest paid employees not tied to commissions. It made business sense that I would be the logical payroll cut.

With that being said, this lesson would not be that hard for me if that was all there was to the story. I can understand that for the company to get through this down time some cuts needed to be made. However, the manner in which the release was conducted is what really hurt.

I realize that this is a relationship that is worth restoring. I have begun to pray about the situation and move toward mending the relationship. I then read the part of the lesson about going first. I felt like Grover in the book, The Monster at the End of this Book.

GO FIRST! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? They are the ones who created this problem. Why should I be the one to try and mend the relationship? I am reminded every time I get a bill in the mail or someone in my family gets sick what situation I have been put in.

Matthew 5:23-24 - Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.

It does not matter if I am the offender or the offended. We are told to GO and reconcile. It is easy for me to write that I will put away my pride and be the one to resolve this conflict. But, actually doing it is going to be hard. I am praying for the Holy Spirit to guide me.